It’s 1:30AM. You’ve been in bed for 3 hours. And you still. Can’t. Sleep.

You’d do ANYTHING to just be able to go to sleep. You’ve read some pages of that book, scrolled Instagram, finished the front page or Reddit, and laid with your eyes closed to no avail. Just tossing and turning. Still. No. Sleep.

Insomnia is infuriating. I’ve wanted to pull my hair out and to break down and cry from it. But now I can fall asleep and stay asleep!

If you’re struggling, I’ll teach you a few things so you can finally get some shut-eye.

Sleep Hygiene – How Clean Are You?

Sleep Hygiene — have you ever heard of this? It’s real. There are several things you may be doing during the day that could be impacting how “healthy” your sleep habits are. Ask yourself these questions to see whether your sleep hygiene is GROSS or squeaky clean.

1. How often do you go to bed at the same time? 

Consistency is key. If your nightly bedtime is nonexistent, you may be setting yourself up for a poor night’s sleep.  Try to go to bed within the same one-hour interval and waking up within the same hour interval every night. Yes, even weekends. But if that’s impossible, just do it on your weekdays. Your body will thank you

2. Do you have a nighttime routine?

 Having a set of things that you do that are calming is a huge piece of creating unconscious associations in the brain that ahhhh, it’s bedtime. Set aside 20 minutes before your designated “bedtime” to wash your face, brush your teeth, floss, put on some creamy lotion, pick out tomorrow’s outfit, read a little, etc. Try and do them in the same order and begin to do them with ease, signaling to your body that you’re beginning the wind-down process.

3. Do you stare at your phone in bed?

Put it away! You’ve probably read this before. The stimulation of phones/computers and our brains = I’m not going to bed. Even if you have something that turns off the blue lights in your phone, you actually need to put it down altogether for AT LEAST 30 minutes before bedtime. I know you may be  “addicted” to watching Netflix in bed, but I’m gonna ask you to try something that’s less stimulating.

4. Do You Nap?

Eek, you may need to stop that. Sorry to be the one to tell you (from one nap queen to another). Taking more than a 20-30 minute nap significantly interferes with your ability to sleep at bedtime. So try to just keep your consistent sleep schedule and you will have MORE energy, and maybe you won’t even feel like you need the nap! Unless you have kids. Scratch that. But you’ll sleep better at night?

5. Do you use your bed outside of sleep?

The experts say that the bed is only for two things: sleep and sex. This one is the hardest for me. Y’all, I love my bed. It’s where I end up reading for hours, doing my quiet time, meditating, writing progress notes, playing video games, or watching Netflix. And yet, the more time I spend in my bed not sleeping (or sexing), the more my brain creates an association that brain is not for sleep — it’s to stay awake!

Are you in college? If you live in a dorm, you probably study, eat, read, chat, and chill all in your bed. Get a chair, sit on the floor, or go to a common area to do all things non-sleep. Maybe you’ll end up meeting someone you love that you never would’ve met having poor sleep hygiene!……..?…

6. How’s your room temperature?

Is it hot as Hades in your house? That may be why you can’t sleep. The optimal temperature for falling asleep is actually 60-67 degrees — pretty chilly. Turn on the fan, spend a little more on your electric bill by turning down the thermostat, and your quality of life will be better! Yet, if it’s too cold, either, that can also impact your REM cycle.

7. Are you exercising? 

Because if you do, you likely sleep better! Try exercising each day and you’ll see that your body is more ready for sleep at bedtime. 

If you exercise, good for you for working out! Any exercise is better than no exercise. Try to make your workout cutoff time earlier in the day. Preferrrrrrably before 5pm (and definitely 4 hours before sleep!).

8. When’s your last cup of coffee (or wine)?

Mmmm, coffee. If you struggle with sleep, coffee may be your best friend. And then maybe you’ll have that glass of wine to wind down. Right? Avoid any caffeine products 4-6 hours (at least!) before bed. And unfortunately, alcohol also interferes with restful sleep, so limit your intake to 1-2 glasses a day (or less) and stop drinking 3 hours before bedtime.

9. How comfortable is your bed?

Real hygiene question here: when was the last time you washed those sheets? Is your mattress older than you are? Are your pillows too flat? Make sure you have a comfortable bedroom to get optimal sleep.

10. How dark is your bedroom? 

Light in your bedroom may be keeping you awake. Buy some blackout curtains and shut the doors. From an evolutionary perspective, the ideal sleeping situation was the cave — protected, dark, and cool. Try to make your bedroom reflect how your ancestors slept (just with better pillows).

11. How’s your relationship?

If you’re in a healthier, secure, relationship, your sleep may be better. If you are feeling unsafe, unheard, or hurt by your sleeping partner, this could impact how you sleep.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true as well! If you’re sleep deprived, you’re also more likely to have more frequent conflict and feel less happy in the relationship.

Pay attention to this — do you need to go to individual therapy to work on your part in the relationship? Do you need to go to couples therapy? Do you need to speak something unsaid? Or do you need to breakup? Your physical health suffers when your relationship is out of wack. And a great relationship can pay dividends to your mental and physical health.

Sources:

Linehan, M. (2015). DBT® skills training handouts and worksheets. 2nd ed. Emotion Regulation Handout 20B.

Healthysleep.med.harvard.edu. (2018). Twelve Simple Tips to Improve Your Sleep | Healthy Sleep. [online] Available at: http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips.

Saunders, Travis John, et al. “Combinations of physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep: relationships with health indicators in school-aged children and youth.” Applied Physiology, Nutrition, and Metabolism 41.6 (2016): S283-S293.

Sleepfoundation.org. (2018). Healthy Sleep Tips. [online] Available at: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips.